test drive 1

[brain_empty]

[Ryoko Otonashi, Ultimate Forgetful Girl (maybe?) was walking through Hope's Peak Academy open square. Dorms, class buildings, and cafeteria and convenience store all accessible. She didn't particularly stand out at all except...]

...Why am I walking here?

[She checked her notebook, nodded, then kept going, for about another minute before...]

...Why am I walking here?

[She peeked down again. Some students nearby tried to wave, but they were ignored. She had a problem and any distractions would delay her more than what was already happening.

Unfortunately for Ryoko, it was a terrible problem that was stopping the traffic more than it reasonably should've, and soon people learned just not to walk behind her or around her at all.]

Comments

[lieindespair]

Huh? Seriously? Didn't you ever go to a birthday party or get him a gift for his birthday? Talk about your favorite foods even once? That seems pretty suspicious to me.

[brain_empty]

...I don't remember it.

[she blushes, not in a hurry to admit it]

But that's fine. I can remember my feelings about him so that's just small stuff.

[lieindespair]

I guess so. But can you reeeeally love someone if you don't know a thing about them?

[brain_empty]

Yes! Of course you can!

[lieindespair]

But you don't actually know them. You just know how they make you feel. It's no different than being smitten with a serial killer in passing. Is it really love? Or just infatuation?

[ He pauses. ]

Do you love him?

[brain_empty]

...

[there's a pen tap against her lip.]

Some of the happiest times I have are when I go to the neurology room. While he waits for me, Yasuke lies down on the seat I'm going to lie down in for my treatments. So I get to just be... enveloped... by his scent.

I worry he'll cure me because then I wouldn't have to go or see him.

[lieindespair]

Hm.

[ He taps the lid of the bottle against his chin, trying to decide how to proceed. ]

That doesn't really answer my question. What would you do if a bus hit him tomorrow?

[brain_empty]

...

I... I don't know. I guess I'd fill an entire book about how much I miss him, every day.

[lieindespair]

Okay but... Aside from missing him, how do you think it'd make you feel? Would you be sad for yourself? Sad for him? Angry that he's gone? Angry you can't see him? What? What's the feeling?

[brain_empty]

...

Kokichi... this conversation is scaring me.

I can't anticipate the future like that. Put it... put it in present tense.

[lieindespair]

Ughhh... Fine.

[ He hates having to dumb things down and rolls his eyes. ]

If he came to you right now and asked you to marry him, what would be your answer?

[brain_empty]

Yes.

[immediately]

[lieindespair]

[ He shrugs ]

Sounds pretty clear to me, then. What do you like best about him?

[brain_empty]

He's the boy I like best in the entire world! Thinking about him makes me happy.

Though, if you mean particular things he says or does, I don't really remember.

[lieindespair]

Really? Nothing at all? Not like, the way he smiles, or the weird way he eats things?

[ He sighs, shaking his head. ]

I don't really get it. Maybe you really are just completely vacant upstairs.

[brain_empty]

Hey! I have feelings. Aren't those enough?

And, just because I don't remember them doesn't mean I can't really... forget them.

[lieindespair]

I guess so. I dunno. The heart is a weird, weird thing sometimes, isn't it? You can't really tell exactly what it wants, just that it wants it.

[ Like a silly stammering detective in a stupid hat. ]

Have you thought about saying something?

[brain_empty]

He knows! ...I think.

When he says he won't abandon me, even if it's just as research, I like that. It's enough.

Well... if I was staying with him I'd definitely want to be cured. But he won't that sort of thing.

But I know he wants to.

[lieindespair]

Why wouldn't he want to cure you? Isn't that like... his whole job?

[brain_empty]

Of course he does. But, if I understand, I'm a rare case.

[lieindespair]

How does that make sense? That seems... kinda fucked up, doesn't it? Doesn't wanna cure you just so he can keep poking around in your head?

[brain_empty]

...Hm.

[she flips through her notebook and settles on a page.]

What I have isn't amnesia. Or at least, it doesn't fit a profile of either know amnesiac types. There's anterograde amnesia. This is a type where a person can't form new memories, and is more common. There's also retrograde amnesia. This is where a person can form new memories, but can't remember old memories, which is more popular in fiction but less so in reality. My condition includes the definition of both types.

But, the anomaly is that amnesia has an external cause. Trauma from a concussion or spinal injury. Lack of oxygen to the brain. Drug use. Dementia. A stroke. Brain tumor. I have no history of any of this. So, I can't really be said to have 'amnesia'.

Since I"m outside the scope of traditional medical procedures, no doctor or specialist wants to touch me. Especially when I am already functioning in society like a normal person instead of being comatose or otherwise a burden. And it'd be unethical to dig around in my brain with a scalpel for research, so there'd be no way to dissect me for science until I die. Only the Ultimate Neurologist has the ability, skill, and need for research material with specialized tools, has the willingness to examine me. Of course, he'd have to understand my condition before he could cure me, which he doesn't, entirely.

...The rest I forgot.

[lieindespair]

[ He listens intently to how she describes her amnesia or... whatever it is her condition really is. It seems odd considering that if she has a brand new condition, most doctors would jump on the chance to fix it and name it after themselves for posterity and fame. But if anyone can do it, the Ultimate Neurologist probably would be the one to do it. ]

So you spend a lot of time with him, it sounds like. Well no wonder you seem to like him so much. I mean, when you get to know someone like that, it's really only a matter of time, isn't it?

[brain_empty]

It's more than that! We've known each other since childhood. That makes us childhood friends. It's practically destiny.

[She started to grin at the thought. Ryoko and the boy she liked more than anything being destined lovers... it was so... nice.

She had to record the feeling, and it went with her other notes of how she liked Yasuke.]

[lieindespair]

Childhood friends, huh?

[ Talk about cliché. But if it makes her happy, who's he to step on that? ... No matter how fun it sounds. There was something in the way she spoke earlier that made it feel like a distinctly bad idea to piss her off. ]

What do you think you'd do if he started dating someone?